Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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