dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I won't apologize to a one balled man
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
