And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
