Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
