You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
