Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
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can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
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the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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