We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
