I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I want to make a zoo with you.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize