The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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