Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
