Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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