I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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