Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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