I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
