You're completely useless in the revolution.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
