It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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