Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Never joke about your clitoris.
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