Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
