worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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