Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
