bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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