I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I licked your asshole in confidence.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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