I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
