I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
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I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
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Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
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