First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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