I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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