I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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