Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
