i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize