How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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