Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
