you win again, gameday.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
