you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
