I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Randomize
