My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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