I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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