I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
