Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
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