Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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