I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
