I think my vagina is haunted
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
