i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
