dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize