tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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