Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
