He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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