The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
