white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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