Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
