Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize