Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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