you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
