There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
