Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
