do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
