yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
