That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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