I wanna passion pit in your ass
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize
