Texts From Last Night

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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet

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  (781): Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet http://tfl.nu/haby
  Replies (4) Good night (696) Bad night (2794)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  we made out on top of his cat.

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  (503): we made out on top of his cat. http://tfl.nu/6lsk
  Replies (18) Good night (1459) Bad night (2937)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace

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  (540): The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace http://tfl.nu/i9ng
  Replies (21) Good night (6614) Bad night (855)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.

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  (301): you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens. http://tfl.nu/fm3u
  Replies (10) Good night (1030) Bad night (3336)
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  (760): View more from California

  Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...

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  (760): Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some... http://tfl.nu/wqbb
  Replies (18) Good night (5424) Bad night (1042)
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  (408): View more from California

  Maybe my heart is located in my vagina

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  (408): Maybe my heart is located in my vagina http://tfl.nu/huf2
  Replies (18) Good night (5516) Bad night (1379)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on

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  (519): We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on http://tfl.nu/80ye
  Replies (12) Good night (3841) Bad night (2044)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.

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  (773): Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years. http://tfl.nu/9eix
  Replies (10) Good night (6466) Bad night (1311)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american

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  (201): I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american http://tfl.nu/02ni
  Replies (194) Good night (3201) Bad night (15883)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.

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  (425): Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner. http://tfl.nu/26hb
  Replies (6) Good night (2804) Bad night (1277)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan

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  (614): I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan http://tfl.nu/3du7
  Replies (3) Good night (2481) Bad night (749)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??

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  (908): I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off?? http://tfl.nu/r74o
  Replies (4) Good night (1841) Bad night (1697)
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  (949): View more from California

  Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.

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  (949): Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows. http://tfl.nu/xhmr
  Replies (2) Good night (543) Bad night (493)
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  (585): View more from New York

  I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?

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  (585): I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for? http://tfl.nu/qqo1
  Replies (8) Good night (551) Bad night (420)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.

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  (703): All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it. http://tfl.nu/mbv5
  Replies (4) Good night (519) Bad night (323)

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