I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"