i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut