Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened

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(734): i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened http://tfl.nu/eey2

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true

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(843): Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true http://tfl.nu/y8hf

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(216): View more from Ohio

thus making me awesome and them whores

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(216): thus making me awesome and them whores http://tfl.nu/kdn8

Replies (14) Good night (3355) Bad night (702)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.

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(763): My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching. http://tfl.nu/0wz9

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(734): View more from Michigan

i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.

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(734): i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants. http://tfl.nu/trrn

Replies (87) Good night (1851) Bad night (20377)
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(925): View more from California

I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.

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(925): I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays. http://tfl.nu/sgn7

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(713): View more from Texas

splinters make it hard to masturbate

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(713): splinters make it hard to masturbate http://tfl.nu/uhm3

Replies (20) Good night (926) Bad night (6850)
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(905): View more from Ontario

Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.

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(905): Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter. http://tfl.nu/3ad9

Replies (4) Good night (2251) Bad night (1189)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY

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(919): Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY http://tfl.nu/1b9m

Replies (26) Good night (3175) Bad night (1321)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?

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(410): I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth? http://tfl.nu/108c

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?

(1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

FUCK YOU MAN

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(717): Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in? (1-717): FUCK YOU MAN http://tfl.nu/h049

Replies (3) Good night (1684) Bad night (718)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.

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(570): you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do. http://tfl.nu/t26b

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(217): View more from Illinois

I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?

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(217): I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right? http://tfl.nu/k5yu

Replies (11) Good night (645) Bad night (982)
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(727): View more from Florida

It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.

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(727): It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside. http://tfl.nu/ic5n

Replies (5) Good night (644) Bad night (377)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.

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(405): All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head. http://tfl.nu/p2id

Replies (2) Good night (555) Bad night (289)

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