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• (845): View more from New York

  felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (760): View more from California

  I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.

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• (585): View more from New York

  WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies

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• (646): View more from New York

  Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.

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