Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.