Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
