nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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