I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
