i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
